6 Things You Might Not Know About Alex Williamson, According To Alex Williamson

“Loosest Aussie Bloke” Alex Williamson is spreading the LOLs across the nation with a 20-date comedy tour just getting underway.
Under the banner of the ‘So Wrong, It’s Wrong’ tour, the social media lord will be delivering his latest parodies, songs and general larfs to venues throughout every state and territory of Oz between October and November, including a crapload of regional areas.
Speaking with Music Feeds earlier this year, Williamson joked about the differences between regional and metropolitan punters.
“When I do a show in say, Sydney or Melbourne or the other capitals… If I do a 7pm show they’ll think ‘cool I’ve got time for one drink’ before they see the show. It feels a bit rushed,” he said.
“But when I do a show in Bundaberg or Toowoomba or some goddamned place, people are like ‘7 O’Clock show? Cool I’ll get seven drinks and five pills in’ before the show. No worries.
“They do rock up at the gigs a bit more like if they were seeing a DJ or something, and they think they can yell out requests, but I shut them up pretty quick, those rowdy cunts.”
Now, to celebrate his latest lap of LOLs, we thought we’d delve deeper into the mastermind behind “Bogan Aussie” and get him to wrinkle our brains, in his own words, with a bunch of things we never knew about his own self.
So, without further waffling, here’s 6 things you might not know about Alex Williamson, according to Alex Williamson.

1)
I’ll start off with a mind blowing one. Did you know I sustain myself in the hostile environment that is earth, simply by breathing oxygen? Assuming I’m the only person capable of such feats, this is clearly worthy of this investigative piece. I am surprised there doesn’t already exist a Marvel character with abilities based on my own. Perhaps the“Air-Breather”, or something similarly epic*. Footnote: when he substitutes oxygen for combusted marijuana plant matter, he gets weird & forgets which one’s the bad guy.
2)
I live with my parents. It’s a cruel world out there & when you’re quite susceptible to temptations of hard drugs & gambling it’s quite easy to ‘go astray’ to put it PG. If my parents weren’t there, it’s fair to say I’d be living in a ditch near the road, which to be fair, would be an absolute dream, & give me the freedom I’m deprived of with parents.
3)
I wanted to be an artist when I was younger. I have brilliant illustrations at home that I’d done as a 5 year old, & there at the bottom is my name spelt incorrectly. Perhaps not so shocking considering I still can’t spell my name.
4)
I can ride my bike really fast. I’ve been known to clock speeds upwards of 220kmph in my imagination. a (faulty) speed gun only clocked me at 8kmph but you can never trust technology. Everyone’s heard of ‘technological error’, but nobody’s ever heard of ‘human error’.
5)
I was a high school teacher. God that’s scary, I just gave myself goosebumps. I was a good teacher, although I said the ‘F’ word a lot, but only ever said the ‘C’ word to naughty kids, & only ever in anger. I used to wag as a teacher. I was so unmotivated. When I had a class I would go and hide in the special needs room, & if a kid came in requiring special needs I’d send them to do it outside in the cold rain so as not to blow my cover.
6)
I’m trying to quit smoking, & it’s bloody hard. Has anyone noticed how hard it is or is it just me? I prayed to God for the first time asking help for my addiction and next day I found a pack of piggies, so it’s clear i’m on God’s bad side. Which is odd because I didn’t even kill those people that time when I had a great chance recently. I know what I’m doing next time… bloody parents.
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Alex Williamson’s ‘So Wrong It’s Wrong’ Aussie Tour is currently underway. Peep the details right here.
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